Today....yesterday and tomorrow

Well, the day has arrived--no stopping it. My parents have packed up and moved to MO. I bawled like a baby after they left....and about 3 times after that. We were still at their house....taking some things that they couldn't get loaded--until they can get back (one of which is my Mom's jungle--and she told me to water them once a week--which means when I see them wilt they will get water) :-) Anyway, it was so sad to be at their house--empty--their smell remained and that was all....Okay...yep...I am crying now!

I know it will get easier but right now my heart hurts. As a matter of fact, so do my knees, ankles, feet, back....you get the picture--but that is from all the exercise I got helping them....and I wouldn't have it any other way. I love them so much--God has given me a lesson and I am learning! We didn't see them much when they lived right under our noses--both of our faults --but I think already there is a new appreciation to our relationship--God is good.

It was so hard watching the truck pull away and not know when I will see them. Yes, it was that way when they were right up the road BUT I know I can't just pop in and they can't just pop in now....So back to God's lesson....I am crying like a baby...Anna said,
"Are you crying Mommy?"
"Yes, Mommy is sad because Grandma and Pop-Pop are gone."
"But Mommy, it isn't like they died."

She is right and I already can tell you I love them so much and just know that the distance will improve our relationship--sounds weird, I know, but I can feel it.....along with the heart ache.

You see where I thought, or rather told myself, I had forgiven, I clearly had held on to some anger. Now with them being taken from me--they think it was there idea to move--it was God's.....He has shown my true forgiveness....I love them so much and would have worked hours more to help them...I want the best for them.

I was in the barn and it was again--hard, hard, hard.....memories kept popping up....I would see something my Dad built or his handwriting....a ceramic piece my mom had made or her handwriting.....something that was part of my home all the way back to Michigan...just reminders everywhere of them but they were gone. Yep, the tears are back.....but as I am reminded of Anna's words...they have moved to another state not on to Heaven.....so I will see them soon!

When they decided to move I felt like it was because I hadn't made enough time for them....or that they just didn't love us enough to stay near us....I know neither of those are right now....we both made mistakes but I plan on moving on and not wasting any more time...I can't change it but I can improve it!

So, God please grant them safe travels and bodies that are not sore tomorrow! I am not sure when they will be online but when they are this will be here.....I am pooped but needed to tell them that I love them sooooo much and that I miss them more than they can even know! I am not always good at telling my feelings....but I want them to know......

I gave Baby extra attention before we left and Angel is good! Love you guys!!!!